FEEL PANIC

When you need help, you just know beside the person sincerely willing to help you actually not much, including family.Now I need some who can listen to me, just know is not a few, so I am very grateful to the people helped me, some even know time is not long, I am very grateful, a lot of people are unreliable, only rely on themselves the most practical, someone said to me, I also will only listen to half, not completely believe that before I was too trusting, return the result is the oneself sad, also because of experience, let me more strong, not easily give up state of mind, nothing is not solve, for me, as long as thinking positive, all the problem all are can solve , some friends are still around freely, no worry about the future, everything are parents to solve, I think they are mature not enough, not enough experience, their life is so boring, no color, it is waste of life.

I just talk to my brother in a cafe in the evening, because there are some things that need to solve, I can't agree to all the things he said, because I asked my friend's opinion, some contradictions, and what he said made me now is a little confusing, because even the closest family cannot believe that now I can only oneself help oneself, oneself to judge right and wrong, do you know my feeling, how helpless, I feel very insecure, now feel compelled to guard against every one, the feeling is very tired.The problem is my heart?Actually I have thought of it like that before, and I even think I have depression, because I feel my heart there is a problem, is not impossible, because of me and my family relationship is very complex, on the outside is not very well, now I'm under a lot of pressure, all pressure all problems, I must to solve, sometimes I want to cry a impulse, I'm a man won't let any one see the feelings in my heart, I am a very perceptual person, whenever I a person's time, I'll be seeing a picture, or hear any song, will want to cry, but read my tears, in fact, few people, including my family, I believe that no one of my friends have seen me angry, often such person is very terrible, because once he can't stand, will completely collapse.I have put all the things, oneself slowly digest, so I am very tired, so blog is also the only one for me to have a vent pipe.